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Year of Love

by Beta Radio

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1.
There’s Something I Want to Say 01:20
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2.
Afraid of Love 04:28
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In my soul, there’s something that I want to say We laughed until we cried We cried until I changed I changed until I thought Maybe now I can come back again But I’m not here at all I’m too afraid I’ll fall From the cloud of my distractions To the lowlands of my soul Was it a dream? Then what does it mean? When all my self indulgence All falls back down on me I’m out on a limb I wanna fall in There’s all the ways I’m afraid of love But I still wanna be Here with you Do you mind? For a moment I want to stay We laughed until we cried In my mind you remained I woke up with that song of love you sang Humming in my brain But I forgot the words Do they sting when they are heard? Or do they sing, the way to rain A heavy peace down on my heart Sometimes I, I feel like, I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it this way Was it a dream? Then what does it mean? When all my self indulgence All falls back down on me I’m out on a limb I wanna begin There’s all the ways I’m afraid of love But I still wanna be Here with you So I’m not feeling around to being brave? What is love, if not forever, is it love? You broke me open, when you cut me up I’m afraid of love, but I can never have enough It takes me over, but it takes time Is that alright?
3.
Don't Leave Me Behind 03:19
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Sometimes I feel what I can’t translate Don’t leave me behind Sometimes I sing the things I cannot say So please don’t leave me behind These little moments all Will add up like the rain Falling down so warm These little moments are The secrets that I send To say that you’re adored I woke up out of a heavy haze A cloud was around my conscious mind To pandemic heartbreak at the end of days I’m unfurling in the whirlwind when the worlds on fire If I can’t tell you then how could you know My heart's been slowly opening over time And all my flames are burning towards your own So please, don’t leave me behind Cause these little moments all Will add up like the rain Falling down so warm These little moments are The secrets that I send To say that I don’t know why Or where in the world I’m wandering There was a flash in my mind Or somewhere along that plane To say that I don’t know why I got so lost in my suffering To say, It’ll all add up like rain in time So don’t leave me behind Don’t leave me behind Oh please don’t leave me behind Oh please, please don’t leave me behind
4.
It Doesn't Really Feel Like Spring 05:20
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In life Look in my eyes And see We’re circled by Uncertainty But Little rose You’re all I need In life I’m not surprised To see These changing tides Are Pulling me We spread the strain The epoch changed Are we not as safe As we thought we’d be In life I don’t wanna come out on the highway I don’t wanna step out of the door I don’t wanna fall away in the decay But I wanna know the state of the world I don’t wanna come out on the meadow When it doesn't really feel like spring But I don’t wanna miss the pull of the old way Cause it’s not showing me anything now
5.
Way of Love 03:42
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On the way of love I remembered who I was I had been holding loss Everyone falls apart I felt it shaking A volcano song, the earth's quaking inside of me I’m learning patience Everything old is breaking apart in me But on the pass That brought me back I couldn’t tell The ground from grass I couldn’t see The forrest from the trees Do you know The way to go On the way of love I began waking up I opened my eyes and saw Everyone’s here, all souls delivered I parked my car In my old yard and felt all the old parts of me Got high and walked Into the hard blow of a heartbreak breeze But on the path That brought me back I’d forgotten All that I had I need a sign To come and remind me Do you know The way to go I saw lightning strike And every heart break apart These are times of lies All bee colonies will rise A kiss betrayed me Put your tongue on me baby I’ve been parading Like nothing I could describe And so I thought I could go Through the pass To the pool of souls Take your time No I don’t mind it Cause all in all All souls delivered
6.
Destined to Pretend 03:12
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I heard your summer spirit sing In bathing suits on Orca’s Beach At night the bay swallowed me You’re an arm length away but out of reach All my thoughts at once were tangled As my soul unspooled like a string Here all eternal moments wait Is it a myth that I create Can we find a way to mend Are we just destined to pretend Super massive stars explode on July the 4th all time slowed You said you hated me but I didn’t know The collapse you felt around your soul Above our own heads heaven dangles Hung up by the thinnest string Here all eternal moments wait In the hell that I create The darkened skies descend Are we just destined to pretend I felt your summer spirit leave The night the light left Orcas Beach By the bay I strain to see What light is left for you and me When we were near our bodies tangled When we were here our eyes believed Here all eternal moments wait Your hair fell on my face On the horizon light ascends Are we just destined to pretend
7.
The Lowlands 03:09
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8.
I Need My Prayers 03:18
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We drove out on Wednesday morning Towards the curling colder ocean We hovered like haze on the water Covered up by clothes of salty air I need my prayers I need those old songs around me now I need my where Where are you going on without me now Glorious sea of wonder My brain lit up when we went under Gone before I ever knew you Walking up and down the stairs I need my prayers I need all my wits about me now I need my where Where are you going on without me now I jumped out into the water And come back as someone other Sometimes I don’t know how to be me Sometimes I can’t see if you see me I don’t want to hide and look away Standing on the rails edge I just stare I need my prayers I need all my friends around me now I need my where Where are you going on without me now
9.
Inside a Wave 03:26
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I found myself inside a wave That I thought I could never trust in Everyone of us All will come to know I feel myself inside a breeze That I thought would blow me over Everyone of us All will loose control I thought I I thought I saw myself in you I surrendered to the ruse And I was rolling In the heavy glory of Visitorial Oh can you show me I found myself inside a grave I was breathing in the dust Carnations for a soul, yeah I know But I don’t really know how to hold my Head above the waterline I wanna wash away It’ll all deliver for you I adore you It’ll all deliver for you anyway I thought I I thought I saw myself in you I surrendered to the ruse Or is it just me here pretending That everyone of us Are something other than What we could loose I thought I I thought I saw myself in you I surrendered to the groove But I was rolling In the heavy glory of Visitorial Oh can you show me I found myself inside a wave That I thought I could never trust in Everyone of us All will come to know I feel myself inside a breeze That I thought would blow me over Everyone of us All will lose control
10.
Year of Love 02:26
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Is this some strangers thought I have? Or an implant, in my brain? I don’t recognize it, but I’m glad Cause its what’s waking me up from a dream Before I found out where to look Before I found out what I was I thought that any other way Was desolation for my soul I prayed for so much shelter from the coming storm They said, “your transgressions will make The Lord send you away” A thread came loose from a seam And love came near and intervened And then I felt that old familiar feeling You remember, the one when the universe walked through you You let it take the time it took What a year of love and pain its been And we’re still writing out the book About how we get born again

about

Beta Radio is a North Carolina based indie-folk duo comprised of Benjamin Mabry and Brent Holloman. "Year of Love is a collection of songs from the year of the pandemic," says Brent. "These are songs that were written and recorded while we were isolating together. This is the first time we’ve written a group of songs that, from the outset, had no theme or plan. As last year progressed, from one tragedy to another, the thing I kept thinking about was love, even though I’ve spent most of my recent songwriting trying NOT to write about it. It seemed right to me to call the whole thing "Year of Love," because I dig redemption and healing, and seeing the tragedy and sorrow of the past year made it seem even more necessary. 2020 was a global tragedy. But I think sometimes it takes tragedy and absolute breakdown, to bring about breakthrough, and hopefully understanding, and love. And maybe this year will bring more of that."

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released June 11, 2021

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Beta Radio Wilmington, North Carolina

Beta Radio’s Americana-folk sound is the result of a decade-long collaboration between Ben Mabry and Brent Holloman. Their sound is rooted in vocal harmonies, with guitar, banjo and an eclectic range of additional instrumentation and soulful arrangements. ... more

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